Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
