and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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