Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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