I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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