her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
