I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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