After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
