Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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