He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
