i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish you could order shots online.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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