I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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