He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
