i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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