I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He has the fingertips of a God
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