I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
