please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
