quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
