Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
