It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
