Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
