I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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