will power is for people who don't want to get laid
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
