just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
