I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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