I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
