garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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