Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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