Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
