I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pants are for mortals
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
