My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
