I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
