the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
