He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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