therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
