I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
