What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who died my cat blue again?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
