he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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