I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize