What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
