can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
