UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize