I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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