I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
