I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
