Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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