Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
