they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
