this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
