is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
