You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
