a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
