okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
