I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Randomize
