this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
