I am puke
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
