if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
