What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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