The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
