I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
