Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
