well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I want her autograph on my taint
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
