She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
