Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
