don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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