i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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