Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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