there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
